Your school's standard may be "yes means yes"
Many colleges use an affirmative consent standard: consent must be an active, ongoing "yes" through words or clear actions. Silence or lack of resistance isn't consent. Some states require this standard for colleges, including California and New York.
Your school's conduct policy is separate from criminal law and can be stricter. A school can find a student responsible and impose discipline even when no criminal charges are filed. Look up your school's sexual misconduct policy so you know the definition that applies to you.
Parties and alcohol
Alcohol is involved in many campus sexual assaults. Being drunk is not the same as being incapacitated, but the line is easy to miss, and someone who is incapacitated can't consent. Warning signs include slurred speech, stumbling, vomiting, confusion, or not knowing where they are. If you're unsure, stop.
Being drunk yourself is never an excuse for assaulting someone, and it never makes a victim responsible.
Look out for each other
- Arrive together, leave together, and check in during the night.
- If a friend is very drunk, get them home safely. Don't leave them with someone they just met.
- See the bystander page for ways to step in.
Amnesty policies
Many schools won't discipline students for their own drinking or drug use when they report an assault or help someone who was assaulted. Check your school's policy so fear of an alcohol violation doesn't stop anyone from getting help.
Where to go on campus
Campus staff fall into different groups. Knowing which is which lets you choose who you tell.
Confidential
Counseling center staff, health center clinicians, campus sexual assault advocates, and pastoral staff usually keep what you tell them private. They can explain options without starting a school process. There are limited exceptions, such as imminent danger or abuse of a minor, and they can tell you what those are before you share details.
Required to share
Many professors, coaches, RAs, and administrators must pass what you tell them to the Title IX office. Ask before you share details: "Are you a confidential resource?"
The Title IX office
Your school's Title IX coordinator can arrange supportive measures such as changing class sections, housing, or work schedules, extended deadlines, and no-contact orders. You can usually ask for these without filing a formal complaint. Federal Title IX rules have changed several times in recent years, so ask your school's coordinator how its current process works.
You can also report to campus or local police, separately from or in addition to a school process. A local rape crisis center (through the hotline below) can help no matter what you decide.
Dating apps and online
- Agreeing to meet, flirting, or sexting is not consent to anything in person.
- Sharing someone's intimate images without their permission is illegal in most states and violates school policy. Don't forward, download, or save them; report them to the platform and your Title IX office.
- If your intimate images were shared, StopNCII.org helps adults get them blocked on participating platforms without uploading the image. For images taken before you turned 18, use Take It Down.
- Meet new matches in public first, and tell a friend where you'll be.
ROTC cadets and service academy students
You may be covered by both your school's policies and military rules, including Article 120 of the UCMJ and military SAPR resources. Which reporting options apply depends on your status, such as whether you're contracted or a cadet or midshipman at a service academy.
- Ask your installation or academy SARC, or call the DoD Safe Helpline below, to learn which options apply to you.
- Campus confidential resources and the Title IX office are still available to you.
- Rank and authority matter here too: cadet leaders shouldn't pursue the people they supervise or evaluate.
The survivor page explains restricted and unrestricted reports in detail.
Sources
- New York State · Enough is Enough (affirmative consent)
- DoD SAPR · Restricted Reporting
- StopNCII.org
- NCMEC · Take It Down
Last updated October 20, 2026. Title IX rules change; confirm current procedures with your school. Educational adaptation; no legal or clinical review is claimed.