What a healthy relationship looks like
Healthy
- You feel safe and can be yourself.
- You can say no, and they're okay with it.
- You both have friends, interests, and time apart.
- Disagreements happen without threats or name-calling.
- Your privacy is respected, including your phone.
Warning signs
- Checking your phone or demanding your passwords.
- Extreme jealousy, or telling you who you can see.
- Pressuring you to do things you don't want to do.
- Threats, like breaking up, spreading rumors, or hurting themselves, if you say no.
- Making you feel scared, small, or like it's all your fault.
If some of the warning signs sound familiar, you're not overreacting. Love Is Respect can talk it through with you.
Your boundaries, and theirs
- You can say no to anything, at any time, even if you said yes before or yes to something else.
- You don't owe anyone a reason. “No,” “I don't want to,” and “Not now” are complete answers.
- Hearing no is part of respect. If someone says no, hesitates, or goes quiet, stop. Don't argue, guilt-trip, or keep asking.
- Pressure isn't agreement. A yes that comes from being worn down, scared, or threatened doesn't count.
- Being in a relationship doesn't mean you owe anything. Not sex, not photos, not anything.
Ways to say it
“I'm not ready for that.” “I like you, but I don't want to.” “Can we slow down?” “I want to go home now.” If someone keeps pushing, it's okay to leave and to tell someone.
What the law says about age
Every state sets an age of consent, usually between 16 and 18. Below that age, a person can't legally agree to sexual activity, even if they say yes. Laws are stricter when the other person is an adult or has authority, such as a coach, teacher, or boss.
If an adult is pressuring you, sending you sexual messages, or asking you to keep a relationship secret, that's a serious warning sign. Tell a trusted adult or call one of the lines below.
Photos, sexting, and sextortion
Know this before you hit send
A sexual photo or video of anyone under 18 is illegal to create, send, share, or keep, even if it's of yourself, and even if everyone agreed. Once it's sent, you can't control where it goes.
If someone sends you one
Don't forward it, save it, screenshot it, or show it to anyone. Tell a trusted adult right away. They can help you report it to the app and to NCMEC's CyberTipline. Ask them before you delete the chat, so information about who sent it can be kept safely.
If yours got shared
It's not your fault. Take It Down is a free, anonymous tool from the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children that helps get sexual images taken before age 18 removed from participating sites. It works with an image that's already on your device, and the image is never uploaded. Never download or share an image in order to use it.
If someone is threatening to share your photos (sextortion)
- Get help before you pay or send anything. Paying or doing what they ask rarely stops it.
- Report the account in the app and block it, but don't delete your profile or the messages. They can help stop the person.
- Keep the details, like usernames, profile links, and the conversation. Don't save or screenshot any sexual images.
- Tell a trusted adult and report it to the NCMEC CyberTipline or call 1-800-843-5678.
- You are not in trouble. The person threatening you is the one committing a crime.
Talking to a trusted adult
A parent, school counselor, school nurse, coach, teacher, or another adult you trust can help. It's okay if the first person you tell isn't the right fit. Keep telling until someone helps.
Teachers, counselors, and many other adults who work with young people are required by law to report abuse so you can be kept safe. If you want to talk something through first, the hotlines below can help. They keep what you share private in most cases, but if you're being abused or someone is in danger, they may need to involve other adults or authorities to keep you safe. You can ask how that works before you share names or details.
If a friend tells you something happened
- Believe them and say it's not their fault.
- Don't spread it around or post about it.
- Encourage them to talk to a trusted adult, and offer to go with them.
- If they're in danger, tell an adult right away, even if they asked you not to.
For parents and educators
This page is meant to start conversations about respect, boundaries, and online safety. It's best used alongside your school's health curriculum, with a school counselor available. Keep the conversation open: young people are more likely to come to adults who listen without panic or blame.
Sources
Last updated October 20, 2026. Educational adaptation; no legal or clinical review is claimed.